if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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