the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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