Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
