If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
