The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
