How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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