He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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