You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
