Betty ford says i'm here all night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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