Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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