fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
