I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
