there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
