Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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