marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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