she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
