Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
