It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
