Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
