why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
ttyl tear gas
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
