Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
