There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
