Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
