we have pet lesbian snakes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
