your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
