How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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