But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
