I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
