Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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