HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
