hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
