When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
