just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
