They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
