problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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