the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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