If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
