I hope mine doesn't look like that
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
