i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
