Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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