If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just googled if crying burns calories
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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