it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
