I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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