let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
