after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
