the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
