yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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