Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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