Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
