i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
