so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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