Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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