The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
