Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
